Friday, July 10, 2009

Chapter 28

(Author's note: This chapter is from Puck's point of view. A lot of the story will be told with POV changes like this. Holly's voice is the main one in this first storyline, obviously, but once in a while things are just better told from the POV of someone who actually knows what's going on ^_~.)



I was unhappy as I made my way to the boy's room, to say the least.

I've never had much of a temper. In fact, I've had people tell me just the opposite; that happens, after a few decades of schooling yourself not to get angry over the stupid things that often come out of the mouths of others. You tend to forget that it's okay to get angry when something's well and truly wrong. I'm good at what I do. I work out the problems between people, and help them come to a harmonious conclusion. I've used it to stop wars, I've used it to negotiate the release of prisoners, I've even negotiated marriages, and I don't think I've lost more than a hand or two of poker in the last century, and all because I've learned to control my emotions. Or at least my body's reactions to them. I've had people tell me, though, that I'm just being a doormat. Of course, it was usually Kiasis or one of her esteemed family, so I tend to take it with a grain of salt.

As I pushed open the door, I was damned good and angry. And I was okay with it. As the Sch'silians themselves say, anger directed with a purpose is a powerful tool.

He seemed to be recovering quite well, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Tallana and wiping his face with a tissue. At least he'd quit crying. That was a relief, actually. Watching people cry just tends to suck all the fury right out of me, and I wasn't quite ready to watch all this nice, useful anger go right down the drain.

"Tallana. Milo." The big gryphon swiveled his head on his neck like an owl to look at me when I came in. I hated it when he did that. Creepy as hell. I smiled anyway, though, and nobody would have ever thought it wasn't the kind, concerned smile it was supposed to be. Another perk of the job. "Would you guys do me a favor and take Holly downstairs? I'd really like for you to take a look at her cheek." I targeted Milo with my worried gaze. "I'm kind of afraid she might have a broken jaw, but you know I'm awful with that home diagnostic equipment…." Not that I wasn't genuinely worried about the kid…? But if Milo went, Tallana would go, and I wanted to get rid of both of them as quickly as possible so I could have a talk alone with Victor. And nothing drove Milo quite as fast as someone who might need fussing over.

He looked at me a little strangely, but in the end he got up and headed out the door, Tallana following close behind. I forget sometimes that Milo's known me for an extremely long time. There are times he can read me pretty well, I think, but for that moment I was just happy to see them go, and I closed the door behind them. For a minute or two, we just looked at each other appraisingly.

“I really don’t wanna hear any more bullshit about how life goes on,” he said finally, looking up at me with cool green eyes. I felt another pang of pity for him. Just like Holly at times, those were not the eyes of a child. It never ceased to amaze me how different the human culture was. Sure, physically, our kids grow at pretty much the same rate. But I’d never seen someone so young, on my world, with such old eyes. Yeah, of course, there are tragedies. But while humans tend to say clichéd things like “children are our most valuable treasure,” my folk actually practice it. “My parents are dead, my sister’s dead…there’s really nothing left for me. I don’t know why the fuck you people couldn’t just leave me the hell alone and let me join them.”

I shrugged, shaking off my thoughts. “Hey, I got nothin’ over here. If I’d found you, I wouldn’t have bothered. Suicide is a reasonably viable alternative to an unpleasant life, where I come from. Personally, I don’t much care for it. I feel like it’s a smack in the face of whatever greater being decided we were worth the trouble of creating. But, free will and all that. It’s your life.”

“Great.” He pushed himself to his feet, heading towards the bathroom. “So you won’t mind if I just go finish up in the bathroom, then. I’m sure there’s a razorblade or something useful in there.”

“Sure, I guess.” I barely glanced at him as he walked. “If you really want to just spit in the face of your parents, and your sister, and those people under this roof who risked their asses to make sure you stayed alive. Who’m I to judge?”

I didn’t have to be watching to know he’d stopped. I let him sit there and stew for a minute or two before speaking again.

“I mean, if you really think none of those people would be disappointed that you threw your life away, just go for it. Try not to leave a mess, though, huh? Somebody’s got to clean this place. Have a little consideration.” I sat down on the bed, still carefully not looking at him.

He was thinking, now. I could hear the gears turning.

See, people don’t tend to go through with suicide attempts unless they’re sure. Granted, most of the time they’re an emotional mess, and not really in the proper mental state to really be sure, but they think they are. Long enough to get the deed done, anyway. Plant a little doubt in their mind, and the ones who aren’t actually sure tend to crumble like the six-year-old corn chips hidden in my passenger seat. He wasn’t the first person I’ve known who was all gung-ho to end all the misery they felt life had become. Sadly, I doubt he’ll be the last. I’d say it’s only human nature, but humans aren’t the only ones affected by tunnel vision.

Again I was silent for a few minutes, letting the doubt brew up in his mind. “Of course, you could always just stick around here for a while. Maybe make something useful out of a life that at least one person’s died to keep going.” I turned around to look at him finally. “Up to you, though.”

He was watching me suspiciously, just like I knew he would be. Perfect. “Yeah? Like what?”

My shoulder lifted in an unconcerned shrug. “I’ve got suggestions. But only if you seriously wanna hear them. I don’t like wasting my breath.” I made my across the room to stand in between him and the bathroom door, fixing him with a serious look. “But first, one thing.” I crossed my arms, leaning against the doorjamb. “I’m a pacifist, in general. I don’t like killing, I don’t like fighting….Hell, I don’t even like to yell at people. But if you ever lay another hand on any of the people under this roof…..from the little guy down the hall to the big feathery one downstairs….I’ll end your life myself, without a second thought.” My eyes narrowed a little bit. I couldn’t quite help it; I was still angry. I’m a pacifist, but I’m not a saint, y’know. Just looking like I can turn my emotions on and off like a switch is hard enough, actually doing it is impossible. “Especially the skinny little girl who could’ve had a death way worse than your sister’s was, rescuing your ass. Got it?”

He glared at me a little…I didn’t blame him, but some things needed to be straightened out right from the get-go. ….but he nodded mutely.

“Great!” I clapped a friendly hand on his shoulder, steering him back toward the bed. “Now….about those suggestions….”